Showing posts with label Simpsons Round-up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simpsons Round-up. Show all posts

Monday, June 7, 2010

Simpsons Roundup!


Okay, let's do this.

I've been meaning to get to this for nearly two weeks now but it just keeps getting pushed back, but NO LONGER! The Simpsons finale had the misfortune of airing the very night of the LOST-ACULAR extravaganza, so I had a bit of a dilema. Ultimately, I decided to record the latter and go with that, which I've gone with for many a season. Not my original intention, but in the moment, I surprised myself.

Have I any regrets?

None at all. Lost was good, but ultimately left me a little underwhelmed, (as did much of season six, which, perhaps I'll get to some other time), and my Simpsons season finale tradition remained intact, very possibly for the last time. Either way, I think I would have perservered. But at the time, it seemed like a difficult choice.


"Judge Me Tender"
05/2310
Season Finale

When Moe discovers a hidden talent for judging contests, he is approached by a television agent to join the AMERICAN IDOL judges' panel. Moe flies to Los Angelos where he tours the Fox lot and recieves some sage career advice. Meanwhile, Homer drives Marge crazy when he begins hanging around the house.


It feels so long ago, I barely remember the finer details on this one. I can remember more than one riff on Fox's other cash cow in previous seasons, (one of them also a finale, if I'm not mistaken), but that one was about Lisa and Homer. This baby was all Moe.

The truth is, I've seen far better episodes, particularly finales, but this one had it's moments. Actually, I find premiers and finales tend to disapoint because they're rarely all that special. I actually prefer the second-to-last episodes of the season. For some reason, they tend to bring more of the goods. Some of you may remember Homerpalooza, followed by a quaint, but good, Lisa episode to cap of season six, (or was it seven? Ah, who cares?)

The guest voices were all there. Two-timer, Simon Cowell, along with the entire American Idol cast did their thang to little or no effect and the story kind of fell into lazy territory during the later acts. There were still some good chuckles, though, don't get me wrong. No doubt, it'll get better with repeat viewings, when all those pesky expectations are forgotten and I can just chill-ax and enjoy a little time with my crew. I should also mention another two-time guest voice, Fox's head-honcho, Rupert Murdoch, who came in for a small cameo at the end. Least he could do, I'd say, for the show that keeps on giving.

Anyway, here's some stuff that stood out for me this first time around.

Flyby: An angelic Ned Flanders flaps skyward.
Bilboard: Krusty’s One Year Sobriety Special has been cancelled;
Chalkboard: "The end of Lost: It was all the dog’s dream.Watch us." (No, that’s not a legit spoiler). This was ironically, a highlight for me.
Couch Gag: Homer and Bart act out a Punch and Judy puppet show; Bart is ‘Punch’, at least until Homer starts strangling him under the stage.

I enjoyed having a, (minor), subplot featuring everybody's favorite pooch, (no, not poochie), Santa's Little Helper, struggling with -caugh- self-esteem issues after Moe insults him. Lisa makes it her mission to raise the dog's spirits, (yes I'm actually typing this). Those two don't usually do much together.

Homer: You never fail to nauseate me boy.
Bart: Just call me Barf Simpson.
Homer: I wanted to, but your mother said kids might tease you.

Homer: You can't close! I'll have to go home and drink better beer at half the price... and natural lighting!

Simon: How do you like LA?
Moe: It's a hell of a city. It's like someone stepped on New York and scraped it off on the beach.

Homer: That was awesome. I feel like the Tiger Woods of sex.

Another gem featured Ralph go on a profanity-laced tirade against Moe, which arugualbly got the biggest laugh of the night.

All in all, a fairly decent episode to cap off what I thought was an above average season. Some really good entries this year. Now come the reruns. Frankly, I'm ok with that. I've been saying for awhile now, The Simpsons needs to rest. Before we know it, though, that season 22 premier will be upon us.

Sleep well, my friends.

D.A.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Simpsons Roundup!


Whooey, it's been awhile.

What can I say, I've been busy. My middle-grade novel, Flotsam, is off to a fantastic start and I hope to have it published sometime in 2011. A lofty goal perhaps, but I feel I've got a solid idea backed by a solid outline and even more solid marketing plan. That's all thanks to my friends at The Institute of Children's Literature, with whom I've been working for the past twenty or so months. It's a great program and I've learned quite a bit about the most lucrative fiction market around - children.

More on that another time. Right now, it's all about...

Whaa! Sideshow Bob! Or is it...?


"The Bob Next Door"
05/16/10
Bart becomes convinced that his new neighbor, Walt, is his archenemy, Sideshow Bob (guest voice Kelsey Grammer), disguised and back for revenge. But when Marge tries to convince Bart otherwise by taking him to visit the state penitentiary, a disturbing truth is revealed."


It's always good to see Bart's old nemesis. No, not Dr. Demento, (although that would be pretty good too). Kelsey Grammar reprises his greatest role, (I know, I know, but I stand by that statement), in this, his one-millionth Simpsons appearance, (or something close). It amazes me they keep coming up with ideas for old Bob, but they do and this one, a take-off of that John Woo classic, "Face/Off," works pretty well.

Everyone is, of course, smitten with their new neighbour, except for Bart, who would know that sultry, sinister voice anywhere, which leads to the best line of the episode: Marge: "A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. Like Frasier on Cheers." "Or Frasier on Frasier." "Or Lieutenant Commander Tom Dodge in Down Periscope." That one had me rolling in the aisles.

Bob's plan was refreshingly diabolical as well.
Not only did he go to such lengths as to trade faces with his cell mate, "Why do you keep measuring my face?", he also comes up with a great way to kill Bart without being prosecuted, namely to go to the five corners of Springfield and shoot him in one State, let the bullet hit him in another, have him fall in yet another, and have the police respond in still another State. Taken individually, where's the crime? Moohaahaahaa!

Great to have you back, Bob.

Here are a few other noteable standouts in this, the penultimate episode of The Simpsons, Season 21:

Bart: Mom, can I go?
Marge: Is your room clean?
Bart: No.
Marge: Good, that will give me something to do while you're at the game.

Homer: Aw, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream.

Waitress: All the good men are either gay or have no face.

Also watch for the memorable appearance of Homer's new, new, new neighbour, who moves in after Walt/Bob is shipped back to the big house - Flanders' fast-talking cousin.

Nice touch, guys.

I'll soon be back with my last roundup of the season, plus lots more good stuff, so don't you go surfing around.

Later,

D.A.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


Yes, it's that time again. Time for a r-r-r-round-up! (tryin' something new there, sorry). Gotta say I loved the heck outta last week's episode. Ditto the one before that. This year's shaping up to be pretty strong. Here's the official synop:

"To Surveil With Love"
05/02/10
A bomb squad mistakenly blows up Homer's unattended gym bag, releasing radiation into the city and authorities react by suspending civil liberties. Wiggum and his men install surveillance cameras around Springfield and round up suspected terrorists, inclusing groundskeeper Willie, but when monitoring the nonstop flow of video imagery proves to be too much, Wiggum enlists concerned citizens to help keep the city safe. Meanwhile, Lisa becomes fed up with being blonde so she dyes her hair a dark color.

As I said, a fantastic ep firing on all cylinders.
I thought it had a great story with some truly funny bits. All the stuff about cameras across Springlfield made for very solid satire chock full of biting social commentary. It really felt a lot like The Simpsons of old. I particularly enjoyed the B-story about Lisa going Brunette, (though I never really saw her as blonde; just yellow), and then, of course coming to her level-headed senses. The children's book about 'A Circle in Squaresville' (or something like that) was clever and spot-on. I also dug the bit when Bart found 'the blind spot' with his butt and Homer turned it into a zone of lawlessness. That's my doh-awg!


And now for a few memorable lines:

Mayor Quimby: Is this what the framers of the Constitution would want?
Wally: Well, I'm Wally of Wally's Framers, and this is exactly what I want.

Chief Wiggum: Now, just follow a little formula called PB & J. Peer at the monitor. Be judgmental. And jot it down. One way to remember that is A-B-C. Always Be Considering PB & J. But the single most important rule is the four As. Always Act According to A-B-C.

Queen Elizabeth: I'll miss that Ralph Wiggum. Reminds me of my boy.
Prince Charles: Oh, mummy, my cat's breath smells like cat food.

Principal Skinner: Ralph Wiggum will be standing in for your lectern.
Ralph: I'm a furniture.


Next week it's another new one. I can't remember when there's been this many in one strecch...not that I'm complaining...

Peace out,

D.A.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


Yikes, maybe I should change the name of this blog to Simpsons Round-up, huh?

For the record, it is my intention to get back to other posts. I've just been really busy trying to get something going and the Round-up allows me to keep one foot in this blog-o-mine. I've recently started writing information articles for Demand Studios, which produces all sorts of content for sites like eHow, Answerbag and others. I'm still getting a feel for it, as I'm not much for non-fiction, (too disciplined), and the guidelines are pretty strict. I am having fun with it, though. Go figure.

Anyhoo, onto the Round-up:

"The Squirt And The Whale"
04/25/10
The Simpsons decide to embrace a cheaper, alternate source of energy by erecting a wind turbine in their backyard. But when Homer realizes some of the power is being directed to the local electric company, he decides to remove his home from the grid and becomes completely dependent on an unreliable source of power. Meanwhile, a storm erupts, trapping a 150-foot long blue whale ashore, and Lisa and Homer attempt to help the poor creature."


This is the kind of quirky, sweet, off-beat story The Simpsons did so well once upon a time and, in the climate of cynical, angry-disguised-as-hip humor The Simpsons actually had a hand in starting, it's nice to see them attempting to buck the trends by being lighter with more artful and heartfelt sensibilities. Don't get me wrong, I love South Park, (as do Mike Reiss and Al Jean as per this week's chalkboard gag). I also think Seth McFarlane is a talented, funny satirist, (despite certain other's opinions). But The Simpsons at its best is so much more than just mean-spirited parody, and even witty social commentary. It is that perfect blend of humor and heart that makes most forms of storytelling work for me and The Simpsons, to their credit, do not seem to have forgotten. They've just been around a long time and produce a much more varied array of stories.
My point is, I apreciate them standing out from the crowd with a simple, dare I say sweeter story to play off the whole Matt and Trey drama. I doubt that was their intention, per se, but it just reinforced for me why the world may still need The Simpsons.

The opening joke about TIC-TAC-TOE: The Movie was classic as was all the stuff about wind energy up until Lisa discovered the whale, Bluella. It was kind of surprising to see them blow up the whale and I actually believed there would be some explanation after the break - but there wasn't. After the whale died and Homer and Lisa tried to save it's mate, I felt they were going for something a little more serious, which threw me in a good way. I'm always delighted to see this show get back to the art of storytelling. Did everything work? Probably not, but as I say over and over on these roundups, most episodes iron out their wrinkles with repeat viewings. I've little doubt this one will live up to that premise.

Here's some other good stuff from the ep:

- The chalk board gag, which read: "South Park--we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared." (Nicely done)

- Ralph Wiggum's "Kid-power" and Barney's "Burp-Power" at the Energy Expo.

- Homer comforting Lisa, then turning to Bart: "I'm trying to be a sensitive father you unwanted moron!"

- The bits with the endangered sharks and Homer's invisible dog.

Homer: "From now on, the Simpsons are living...intermittently."

Comic Book Guy: "Behold! I am Captain Kirk from Star Trek 1! 2 ... 5 ... Generations ... Boston Legal." (As an unabashed Star Trek fan, that had me in stitches)

Homer: "I'm not made of money, I'm made of man meat and an a skeleton."

Antonine: "Without that horn, I can't make a living."


Next blog will be about something other than The Simpons, folks. Promise.

D.A.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Simpsons Round-Up!


Just enough time to get in a quick round-up.

Last week's episode was refreshing. Nothing flashy or guest-voicy. Just a solid bro-mance between Homer and...Chief Wiggum?

It happened. And here's the proof...


"Chief Of Hearts"
04/18/10
Homer is completing his court-ordered community service when he befriends his supervisor, Chief Wiggum, by offering him one of his sandwiches. Touched by the act of kindness, Wiggum assigns the other convicts unpleasant tasks, but allows Homer to join him at the picnic table. They continue to grow close, but when the Chief gets injured during a botched bank robbery, Homer doesn't come through when Wiggum needs him the most. Meanwhile, Bart becomes addicted to Battle Ball, a Japanese game made up of plastic balls and magnetic cards, and his family and teachers try to help him kick the habit."


I could be wrong here, (let's face it, I'm not), but I don't recall The Simpsons ever having a Chief Wiggum-centric storyline. A few times he's had a small b-story, but mostly he's on the periphery with Eddie and Lou - where he belongs.
Just kidding. I actually couldn't believe it when I realized this was a first for the soon-to-be longest running show in history. I didn't think there were many of those left - plausible ones, at least.

All in all, nothing really stood out upon first viewing. As I've said before, The Simpsons - even those post-911 - are like fine wine. They get better with repeat viewing. Ok, so that anology isn't exactly air-tight. What I mean to say is, I'd venture to guess it'll be good for a few laughs on a rainy Saturday afternoon when I'm all "I barely remember this one."

Here's a few standout quotes:

Homer: Community service? But that's work! What about jail?
Judge: Community service!
Homer: No, I want to go to jail. Free food, tear drop tattoos, library books that come to you. I'll serve anything but the community!

Marge: That's drug talk. But I could be mistaken. Just let me listen to a little more out of context.

Bart: How'd a pull up like you get a great card like that?
Ralph: My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Bart: Ralph, I will play you for that card.
Ralph: Okay, but if I win, you'll have to teach me how to play this game

Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Cops don't have a lot of friends. Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. That's why your friendship is so special to me.
Homer: Chief, me too.
Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Any chance of a bathroom break?
Chief Wiggum: Thanks a lot jail bird. Now I have you on burglary and killing a moment.

Chief Wiggum: Who are you, the rules police?
Lou: No, we are the police police.



Blog to you soon,

D.A.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Simpsons Roundup!


Hello all,

Once again I cut this one a bit close to the wire, since there is a new Simpsons on tonight, (I think). Last week's ep was Mr. Burns-centric, which I believe hasn't been done in awhile. There was a time, of course, where it seemed every other ep featured Springfield's most prolific 114 year-old man, but alas, those days were of a simpler, more naive era -- say, circa 2004-2008-ish...

Okay, let's get this party started.

Last week's installment, entitled American History X-Cellent, (a nice title), goes a little something like this:

"American History X-Cellent"
04/11/10
When the police are called to diffuse a rowdy crowd at Mr. Burns' estate, one of the officers recognizes priceless stolen paintings on the walls, and the maniacal billionaire is taken downtown for questioning. With Mr. Burns gone, Smithers takes charge of the power plant. But when employees take advantage of his good nature, he exacts revenge by forcing the employees to work night and day. These unfair working conditions prompt Homer and his crew to devise a plan to bust out Mr. Burns."


What can I say? This one had loads of potential, and some nice moments, but ultimately, fell kinda flat with me. I'd love for this show to really bust out of the box and get back to leading the pack when it comes to zany, irreverent satire, but sadly, I fear that ship has long sailed. Don't get me wrong, I love The Simpsons and I ALWAYS WILL, (caps=emphasis), but I am getting a bit tired of the same old thing, not to mention trying to defend said same old thing to every Tom, Dick and Harry who thinks they could do better.
I will say, I loved how this ep began, in a prison cell with Mr. Burns preparing to meet his maker. A nice little bit of non-linear storytelling, by the "story" descended rather quickly, for my taste, into the usual shtick, (is that how you spell it? Never mind).
Anyway, I loathe to be seen as 'hating' cuz I'm not. So I'll go into some of the more positives to get the sour taste out of my mouth.

A few good lines of note:

Homer: The war is over and the future won. Past never had a chance, man. (preach on, brother.)

Bart: (glad not to be Lisa's kid) If I was in your tummy I'd poo in your throat. (A sweet line, spiced with vintage Bart)

Burns: The power plant's new annual Fourth of July picnic is this upcoming Saturday.
Homer: Woohoo!
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid you misunderstand. This picnic is for me, you will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away in the hot summer sun with no pay, lotion, or gratitude.

Moe: Get your throwing stuff! Turn the protest into a riot!
Milhouse: How much for a tomato?
Moe: Fresh stuff for a dollar. Rotten is two bucks.
Kirk: Son, do you really need the rotten? I mean, it's not like you're actually gonna hit him.

Guard: It's time for a cavity search.
Mr. Burns: Oh, I haven't cavity in forty years.
Guard: I wasn't talking about your teeth.
Mr. Burns: Nor was I.

Mr. Burns: And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!


A few moments of note:

- Liked how the prison warden was addicted to 'H' (Helium) Whoa, that's good satire.
- Good to see Smithers running the plant. Bout time he got his cumuppance, (probably very wrong spelling there). It was nice to see him non-chalantly fall through the trap door by Mr. B's desk and just casually come back.
- Nice to see The Plant introduce a medical plan that covers illness, (thanks a lot, Obamacare).
- Smithers taking 'an important call' that was a telemarketing survey. Plus he wanted to go back and change one of his answers from 4 to 5. ("I'm wasting your time?")
- Bart and Lisa's little b-story about raising ants. That was kinda forgettable, but I liked when Santa's Little Helper ate them all - particularly the last one. Oh, that dog.
- Patti and Selma are dead! (Not quite)

On a sidenote, I thought Southpark was an awesome parody of TRON last week. It was all about Facebook and how it's turning us into mindless status-mad drones. (Gee, ya think?) I urge you to check it out. Now that really is good satire.

Feel free to post a few comments. They're free, and oh so refreshing.

See you next week.

D.A.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


Yes, it's that time again.

I have to admit, I've been especially looking forward to this episode of The Simpsons ever since I read a small blurb about it last summer. The Simpsons have never gone to The Holy Land, after all. Plus, Israeli-Palestian humour always goes over so well. Also, I'm a big Sashsa Baron-Cohen fan and when I heard he would be voicing the pushy Israeli tour guide, I envisioned a winner.

Which it was...for the most part...

I admit, after only one measly viewing, its hard to remember, let alone fully apreciate all the sublte nuances to any Simpsons entry, ('old' or 'new'), but this one had a few leaps in logic I felt weren't entirely necessary. Maybe I'm just holding my greatest television influence, (Star Trek: TNG notwithstanding), to a higher standard. Anyway, here's the round-up. Feel free to play along...

"The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"
03/28/10
When Homer is playing noisily in the yard, it disrupts Flanders' Bible study group. Coaxed by the Reverend, a frustrated Flanders takes it upon himself to redeem Homer by inviting the Simpson family on his church retreat to Jerusalem. Unappreciative of the history and culture, Homer would rather hang out at the hotel's breakfast buffet than tour the city. But when an eccentric tour guide, (guest voice Sasha Baron Cohen), takes the group to famous monuments, including the Dome of The Rock and the Wailing Wall, Homer proves he is not beyond salvation."



I thought the entry had a truly epic feel sorely lacking in many episodes these days, (even the movie). In fact, this story might have made a better movie than the one they actually went with, but I won't go into that here. I will say, however, I think the best thing The Simpsons can do from a creative standpoint is to go off the air for a few years and focus on a series of films, either theatrical releases, direct-to-DVD, (or Blu-ray), or even television specials. A Sideshow Bob or Mr. Burns-themed adventure would be a kick.
This type of approach would, I believe, re-invigorate an ineffable element to The Simpsons continued relevance - the need to be missed. Viewers need to miss The Simpsons. They, along with it's very creators, need to take a break, let people miss the show and slowly build up a new apetite for the yellow-skinned five-some's illustrious return.

Ok now back to the episode at hand.

I really enjoyed Sasha Baron Cohen's voice work in this. It reminded me of the old days, with Hartman, Lovitz and of course, Albert Brooks, who had zany fun with the character and created a personality truly unique to this 20-plus year old show. Knowing many an Israeli, I can say he absolutely nailed the aggressive, almost 'pushy' characteristics so often exhibited by these colorful and truly 'chosen' people. (Ha ha)

Some more things I liked:

- Bart's offensive, yet hilarious line after reading papers shoved in the Wailing Wall: "Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God."
- Krusty, upon discovering there's no Hell in Judaism, heads to "The Gaza Strip Club."
- Bart telling the Israeli girl she doesn't fight like a girl, or even a Milhouse. "I don't know what is Milhouse?"
- Homer calling a camel, "a sand horse, car of the desert"
- Homer ordering a falafel with pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese.
- "Some of us don't eat pork, some of us don't eat shellfish, but we all of us love chicken.

That last one just about says it all, folks.

...and some pure-Simpsons dialogue...

Ned: Our bible study group is going to the holy land next month. I'd like to take you and your family along as my guests.
Homer: Hmm, let me think. Take my family to a war zone on a bus filled with religious lameos in a country with no pork in a desert with no casinos. Where do I sign up?
Marge: Homer, I can hear your sarcasm from inside the house and the dishwasher is on.

Marge: This country is so historic, for all we know Jesus could have given a talk in conference room C.

Reverend Lovejoy: God has never given up on anyone
Ned: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Reverend Lovejoy: He lovingly destroyed them.

Marge: Homie, you're alive.
Homer: I am more than alive, woman. I am the chosen one, who shall unite all the faiths of the holy land. I am the messiah.
Marge: But you still have the passports right?
Homer: Oh yeah, gotta keep track of those. THE MESSIAH! has the passports.

Jacob: What? Israel people are pushy? How about you experience a few genocides and see how laid back you are. We were perished from Spain. Thrown out of there. They allow everyone in Spain. But for us, Jews, no flamenco, get out. I'm pushy? Please. You stay there surrounded by your great enemy Canada. Try sitting here for two months, then we'll see who's pushy.


Nicely done, gang.

Not sure if next weeks is new or not, so I may or may not have another one of these standing by. Either way, I'll be posting part three of chapter 13 of volume one of my epic horror maserpiece, (yup, nice and simple), An Axis Oblique. (long overdue, that's for sure)


D.A.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


This one's right on the wire, considering we're a mere hours away from another new episode.

Last week's featured one of my faves, Sarah Silverman as a precocious fourth-grader who turns Bart's fragile heart to mush. Women...

"Stealing First Base"
03/21/10
Principal Skinner announces that Mrs. Krabappel was called out of town and budget cuts dictate that, until she returns, the school's two fourth grade classes will merge. Bart reluctantly shares a desk with Nikki (guest voice Sarah Silverman) and develops a flirtatious rapport. Bart talks to Grampa about his new crush, and at Grampa's suggestion, gives Nikki a kiss. But when Nikki starts giving Bart mixed signals, he swears off women forever. Meanwhile, Lisa's classmates ostracise her for being an overachiever, and First Lady Michelle Obama, (guest voice Angela Basset), a self-professed nerd, comes to Lisa's defence."


This one had its moment's. Among them...

-Nelson bonding with a blind student, who soon "surpases the teacher."
-The elaborate Koyaanisqatsi-esque Itchy and Scratchy montage, which Homer and Bart enjoy - in 3D! (Guess they made another movie)
-The little cameo from everyone's favorite Jackie-O-wannabe, Michelle Obama, (voiced by Angela Basset for some reason. Seriously, me thinks they should have given her a better part).
-The AWESOME kissing montage when Nikki revives Bart via mouth-to-mouth. Among the great screen kisses, I noted, Rett and Scarlett, Ripley and Alien, Sammy Davis Jr. planting one on Archie Bunker, and (Nu)Spock and (Nu)Uhura, (the distinction must be maintained).
-The somewhat disturbing display of affection between Willy and Principal skinner. Let's hope that little sub-plot stays nipped in the bud.

Some funny lines:

Ralph: I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.


Superintendent Chalmers: By now you've haard that one of our fourth graders did something that 100 years ago would have been completely innocent but in today's over litigious society has been blown completely out of proportion.


Michelle Obama: That's right, Lisa, as an avid organic gardner I've read your blog.
Lisa: Flotus1 is First Lady of the United States, one.
Michelle Obama: Yes, I wanted just flotus, but someone had it.
Ralph: That's me because I swim with my flotuses on.


Another solid, if a bit forgettable, outing. Next week, (or tonight's) episode takes the Simpsons where no cartoon has gone before...the Holy Land...No, not Chicago. Israel, baby! Should be a doozy.

D.A.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


Another week, another round-up.

I gotta admit, I was a bit preoccupied last Sunday due to an unexpected fender-bender mere minutes before the opening credits. I was forced to miss it completely for the first time in...lets just say many moons. Sure, I've missed episodes before but not without a contingency plan. This particular incedent caught me with my (figurative) pants down. Not to worry, though, all is well. There was minor damage to my car, but nothing serious where it counts, and repairs are swiftly underway. As for The Simpsons...

Thank heavens for time-shifting.

"Postcards From The Wedge"
03/14/10
When Bart fails to turn in his homework, Mrs. Krabappel sends a letter home about Bart's behavior. Despite Bart's best efforts to intercept it, Homer reads the letter, and he and Marge visit Principal Skinner for a parent-teacher conference. Furious, Homer punishes him, but Marge takes a more sympathetic approach. When Bart realizes he can pit Homer and Marge against each other to his benefit, his scheming reaches new height.

Flyby: Crow, complete with call/Short open.
Couch Gag: The couch is a piñata broken open by Ralph Wiggum, and OFF spill out when he whacks it.

Here are a few noted highlights:

* House M.D.
The name of the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon Bart is watching is "Mouse M.D." and parodies the TV series House M.D. starring Hugh Laurie.
* The Jetsons
The "educational" film the children watch at the beginning of the episode has several hints of The Jetsons style conveniences and technologies.
* Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Marge suggests that the family eat lunch at a restaurant called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Eggroll, a play on the title of the 2000 Ang Lee action movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.


and some choice dialogue:

Homer: I say this boy needs more homework. I don't have to do it with him, do I?
Principal Skinner: No.
Homer: Pile it on. I want him to be Korean by the time he's done.

Lisa: You would mess up mom and dad's marriage just to get out of doing some homework?
Bart: I would end all life this planet to get out of doing fractions.

Homer: I want to eat at Moe's express.
Marge: The last time you ate there, you spent three nights at the mall jail.
Homer: That was last week and you're still bringing it up!

Marge: I don't mind if you pee in the shower, but only if you're taking a shower.

Homer: We can't let Bart drive us apart, he's the reason we had to get married.

Homer: If you're out of my sight, you must constantly twitter me what you're up to, even though I don't know what twitter is and I have no desire to find out.


I enjoyed it. Okay, I know we've covered a lot of this territory before. Homer and Marge fighting, Bart not doing his homework and trying to manipulate, well...everyone, but the story took a turn when Homer and Marge discovered they liked being neglective parents. Homer, I can see, but Marge? The Springfield Subway system was interesting as well. Why not? The town's infrastructure is set up for damn near everything else. It was also nice to see Bart in school, doing homework for a change. All in all, a relatively grounded story with some solid Simpsons humour sprinkled throughout. I expect to get more and more out of repeat viewings, as is typically the case, (for me, anyway)

Feel free to disagree.

D.A.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


This one's a little long in the making, I realize, but hey, sometimes I try to have a life. In all seriousness, I've been busy plotting a children's novel for a writing course I'm enrolled in. It's for middle-grade readers, 9-12, and my (working) title is Flotsam. Eh? Eh?

Moving on.

Two Sunday's ago, The Simpsons celebrated black history month, (a long-overdue first for the family), with a flashback episode. Here's the synopsis, plus a few noted highlights.

"The Color Yellow"
02/21/10
When Miss Hoover asks her students to research their family history, Lisa is horrified to discover that most of her ancestors were a motley crew of horse thieves and deadbeats. But while rummaging through the attic, Lisa happens upon a diary kept by her ancestor, Eliza Simpson. As Eliza's story unfolds, Lisa learns that her family was part of The Underground Railroad, a group that helped slaves escape to freedom. Eliza recounts liberating a slave named Virgil, (guest voice Brown), but when Lisa presents her findings at school, some of her classmates refute it, leaving Lisa determined to exonerate her family's name.



A bit of a departure from recent fare, which is good as far as I'm concerned. This show has been around for 20 years, I expect them to be taking huge risks at this point. Why not? What have they to lose? Their legacy? That is firmly cemented, even though many believe they're way past their prime, (which they may very well be), in time, all that will matter is their influence on both TV and popular culture as a whole and noone can deny that with a straight face.

That being said, the episode, while fairly high on story, was a little low on jokes. Again that's ok. There was a time when this show could weave a thoroughly satisfying yarn. I particularly enjoyed seeing our characters in the civil-war South. Here's some other stuff I liked:

- Colonel Burns demanding they switch the waltz's tempo to 4/4 cause he didn't like these kids and their modern dances. Pure Simpsons.

- All the kids at Springfield Elementary preparing thier Obama speeches.

- The scene in the attic with all sorts of Simpsons memorobelia, including Homer's space suit and Mr. Plow jacket, Extopolopikettle (or whatever), funzo, and...shit, I need to see it again...

- The Canadian flag, (again!) Even though that particular flag did not exist until 1963, (0r maybe 4) Worst continuity ever! (ok, not even close). I'm positively tickled yellow the show went to Canada two episodes in a row! Why not just move Sprinfield over the border, baby? Maybe next year.

- The fairly big revelation about the Simpson family delivered, of course, by Grandpa. Yes, folks, the Simpsons have African-American blood. Why the heck not?

Here's a good quote to illustrate it, for those of you who missed it.

Lisa: We're 1/64 black!
Bart: So that's why I'm so cool.
Lisa: And that's why my jazz is so smooth.
Homer: And that's why I earn less than my white co-workers.

And here's a few others of note:

Homer: If i were you I wouldn't take it to the past. I lived in part of that past, and I got out for a reason.

Ralph: Mr. Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party, and I went there. Yay, my turn is over.
Principal Skinner: One of your best Ralph.


Next week it's the oscars so no round-up. However, I may just have a few other things in store... mwoo-ha-ha-ha-ha!

D.A.

Monday, February 22, 2010

An Axis Oblique - Chapter Thirteen (Part I)


Kay, kids, think you've waited long enough. Here's part one of the last Chapter in Volume One of my masterpiece horror-epic, An Axis Oblique. (Everybody got that?) Hope you enjoy.
For those of you just tuning in, (where the hell have you been?), Chapter's One through Twelve can be found within the index of this very blog. And it's all free, free FREE! I'm just that insane!!!

Sorry you had to see me like that.



–– Thirteen ––
January 28, 8:03


“Over here.” A voice called over the hill. At first he was startled. There wasn’t much difference between a female scream of enthusiasm and one of holy terror. In four years with the Maplewood Police Department, Pete Estes had heard both.
“What is it?” he asked, coming up on her kneeling form. Fiorentine didn’t look up, engrossed in the tiny focal point already inside the small, transparent evidence bag.
“I’m not sure,” she replied, examining it through plastic with her thumb and forefinger. Estes continued to approach, stopping just a few steps behind her.
It was a long shot to begin with. Eighteen year old Susan Laterna had been missing for more than two weeks and just about every other stone had been turned and re-turned. Any other time, they’d have pegged her a runaway. But these times were far stranger than most.
For several weeks, people had been…disappearing all over this once-sleepy town with no apparent rhyme or reason. Not all turned out the same, of course, but an alarming number were as yet unresolved. At least Richard Pollack had a clear enough preference, which in time, led to a pattern. These days, everyone was apparently fair game.
For a split second, she seemed to be grasping at thin air. Estes moved closer, but as she turned to face him, the rounded shape of a single eyeglass lens caught a piece of stray sunlight and its smooth, reflective surface revealed itself like a hidden image in one of those 3-D art posters.
“This could be just the break we’ve been looking for…” she said, apparently serious. Indeed, if it were, he’d eat his hat. Still in the plastic, he gave it a once-over. Items such as this could be found almost anywhere around Newbury Park. People traipsed up and down these vast acres all the time. He’d done so himself on occasion, back in his carefree youth.
“Now all we gotta do is find someone walking around with one lens in his frames,” he remarked dryly. The woman did not react as intended, with a smile or a submissive chuckle. Instead, she reached up and snatched her clue back from him. Estes wasn’t much for sarcasm. This was why.
“You make it sound like a dead end,” she said. “A needle in a haystack, maybe, but one half-decent print and we’re back in business. Anyway, I’m sure Keith will appreciate it on merit.” There was something about her voice when she invoked that man’s name, which made him want to throw up. He might well have done so, too…if not for the ringing cell phone...
“Fiorentine,” she answered, adjusting to her feet––then looked him right in the eye as if to rub something in his nose. “Detective Merrimac, it’s good of you to call, sir.”
“Speak of the devil…” he muttered before turning off…
It wasn’t as though Estes disliked his gruff, charismatic superior; not like some he could name––but wouldn’t. He and the crass lead detective had just barely crossed paths, in fact; not since Mitch Barrett’s tearful funeral. Now there was a real role model.
At the service, he’d tried to engage him on the ice-cold investigation; some faint traces of ash in the lieutenant’s carpet. Both men knew full well Barrett didn’t smoke; (as did everyone, the way he went on about that Nicotine gum).
“Could be a relapse,” the detective dismissed him off-hand––which took care of that.
It wasn’t so much Merrimac, in any case, as her. The way she always looked at him; fawned over him; catered to every whim…but mostly, it was the way she threw herself in his face every time he felt like swaggering onto the scene. ‘Oh, Keith, thank God you’re here. Whatever would we do without you? Touch me, Keith. Fuck me. Do whatever you like with me, Keith. Keith, Keith!’
He stopped himself. Jealously was unbecoming.
“Estes?” He heard her perky voice call his name. “Estes, where did you…?” There it was again. He looked up from the crude shoe print he’d uncovered. “Pete!”
“I’m here!”
Within seconds, she was coming up the incline.
“Why’d you walk away like that?”
“Did I?” He feigned ignorance. “Guess I was eager to get back to the sweep. One good gust of wind, after all, and a perfectly good lead can get buried for all eternity.” Fiorentine looked over his shoulder.
“Guess so.” She did not sound the least bit certain but was clearly anxious to relay some other juicy tidbit. “Merrimac’s en route,” she said, almost giddy. “Who knows? Maybe there’s some kinda connection between my lens and, um…this…”
“Finally decides to grace us, does he?” he snarled, then looked up at her round, saucer eyes. That’s it, he thought angrily. No more snide remarks. Not even to myself…
“What was that?” she asked, still lost in her girlish euphoria.
“Nothing,” he said. And that’s just what he meant.
–––––––––––––––
“How the hell can it be nothing? My son is sick, Dr. Pierce; from a so-called ‘viral infection’ that you diagnosed. And now you’re saying…just what are you saying?”
“Please, Madame, if you’ll just––”
“Goddammit, just tell me what the hell is wrong with my son!”
Randal Pierce took a step back. These were the moments he dreaded. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned; unless she was a mother––then all bets were off.
The woman eyed him menacingly.
“As I said, Mrs. McAllister, I’ve found nothing wrong; not physically, at any rate…”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’ve run every test I know, and all indications say your son is in perfect health.” Again, she seemed ready to pounce; to protect her young at any cost, like any good mother––as he’d expected. “Now it’s possible; very much so in fact, this…whatever it is, will indeed run its course, as predicted.” He swallowed, uncomfortable. Here goes nothing… “There is, however, another possibility.”
*
“There’s a private wing at Tempest Medical...” the smug, Doogie Howser reject started in. Mary was about ready to button that goddamn second button on his trendy Polo dress-shirt. “…equipped with the latest MRI technology; the finest physicians and most current research conducted on the pre-adolescent cortex in…well, probably the world. I could arrange for a consultation with Dr. Lucien, the administrator. Perhaps––”
“Wait a minute…are you saying my Patrick needs a shrink?”
“Not at all,” he replied. “I’m simply offering an alternative, which, until now, had not been considered.” Mary stood from her uncomfortable chair and began pacing back and forth. She was troubled by the direction this conversation had taken. “Your son is withdrawn.” He pressed on. “You’ve said so yourself. He sleeps all day, has no appetite, no…social interaction…” The woman remained silent. Facts were facts. “On top of all that, recent family events would be fully expected to…impede the progress of any treatment, be it biological or psychosomatic.” Mary looked up. He had to go hitting her where she lived. “Listen, Mrs. McAllister, I wouldn’t presume to advise you on a matter I frankly know little about. Nor am I qualified to make any kind of psychological diagnosis. I am however, qualified to recommend an evaluation. Not because I think he’s unstable. Just to cover all bases. Doesn’t that sound reasonable?”
*
The woman continued to glare as though he’d just told her he had a room full of bunnies in back he was about to give cancer. “Reasonable…” she repeated. “The word seems to have lost all meaning…” The doctor remained silent. He could almost see the rusty wheels working inside her heavy head, struggling to turn. He waited a minute––then two. His silence would be far more convincing…
“This, um…consultation… How soon do you think you could––?”
“Within the week, I’m sure of it,” he interrupted; perhaps overeager. “Suffice it to say, the sooner we get the ball rolling…”
“That soon?” Her judgment again appeared to waiver. The good doctor braced himself. “I’ll need time to explain it to him, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely. There’s nothing at all to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I think it’s crucial he understand that. If you like, I’d be happy to talk with him. However, I should stress, if we don’t seize the closest opportunity, if for no other reason than to rule this all out, we could have a long wait on our hands…”
“What about money? Things are a little tight right now, I’m not sure––”
“I’m confident we can work something out. There are circumstances whereby consultations such as these, and even subsequent treatment if that becomes necessary, are fully covered by insurance. I’d be happy to look into it.” Now there was nowhere to go.
“He might still improve. You said so yourself, this could all be for nothing.”
Dr. Pierce nodded. “It’s only a precaution. A wise one, at that.”
“Very well.” She conceded. “Make the preliminary arrangements. I’ll, ah, have a talk with him tonight. He’s awfully young to comprehend something like this. I’m having a little trouble myself…” she muttered, underbreath.
“My door is always open. And if you don’t mind my saying, he strikes me as keenly perceptive. I wouldn’t be surprised if he understands a lot more than you think.”
It was several hours before he allowed himself the sweet privilege of self-adulation. What a profound turn of events, indeed. But then, there were no coincidences. He knew he saw something in the boy off the bat; something his loud-mouthed mother could never perceive, let alone comprehend. Yes. From the moment he looked into the glossy, textured eyes of this boy, Patrick McAllister, he knew, intervention had descended.
“Dr. Pierce?” McGrady’s plump receptionist opened the door in mid-knock–– “There’s a Dr. Lucien on line three. Returning your call?”
“Yes, Gretchen, thank you. Would you mind…?” and she graciously took the hint. As soon as he confirmed total privacy, he cleared his parched throat––and hit the flashing button––
“Maurice!” he beamed cautiously. “I’ve got some exciting news.”
–––––––––––––––
“There’s been another murder––” Keith Merrimac sat on the edge of his unmade bed, trying to feel surprised. It seemed as though the words, or others to that effect, had replaced ‘hello’ in the local vernacular.
“What in God’s name is going on?” he wondered aloud. There could be no denying now, if ever there could, that a copycat of some sort was about, out there on the loose.
“That’s supposed to be your job, Detective,” replied Captain Thornhill in his gruff, no-nonsense delivery. “I’ll give this to Davies, seeing as how full a plate you’ve got already. You can hit Newbury Park. Fiorentine’s there with Estes and a team, sweeping for the Laterna girl. A witness just came forward; saw someone matching her description wandering the road side...”
A disturbing flash rattled his sleep-deprived mind. He could picture the image almost perfectly. “Merrimac? Merrimac, are you there?”
Penny for your thoughts…
“Sorry, Captain, I…didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Try warm milk. Or better yet, lay off the late nights with strange bedfellows. I can’t afford to have you sleep-walking through another shift, you hear?”
“Loud n’ clear,” Keith replied, but was lying. He heard the words, alright; received the order, disguised as ‘advice’––but they were neither loud nor clear.
“Good,” the captain went on, oblivious; (either that or he didn’t care). “Do me a favor and call Fiorentine, give her a heads up.” Oh I’m sure that can be arranged...
“What?”
“I said give her a call. Something wrong with your hearing?”
“Sorry. I thought I heard…nothing. Never mind. Consider me en route.”
* * *
Another beautiful day. Keith found it funny how they seemed to coincide with one of the worst strings of viciousness in recent memory––at least since the last. He wasn’t sure how, but somewhere along the line, he seemed to have stumbled into some sort of blissful groove. He perceived the whole world now on a much deeper level. He reveled in its energy; drank it in at every opportunity. He was still a part of it. At one with it; but at the same time, felt strangely detached; almost…above…
“How’s it going, Sergeant?” The events of the past several weeks had brought on, among other things, one of the most earth-shattering, life altering shifts in his altogether predictable lifestyle...a cell phone. He swore he’d never have one; never even get near one unless absolutely necessary. The times, they were a’changin.
“Detective Merrimac, it’s good of you to call, sir.”
“Don’t mention it. I’ve been eager to try this thing out anyway. How’s everything?”
“Slow, but we may’ve just caught a break. Are you on your way over?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. Thornhill mentioned something about an eye-witness?”
“In a manner of speaking, sir. A motorist just reported seeing someone who matched the girl’s description hitching a ride around Newbury Park.” An image of her, this pretty young thing strolling the roadside in skin tight blue jeans ripped through his mind. It confused him, feeling more like a memory than a conjured-up representation.
“Didn’t know people were still that stupid…” he mumbled.
“It’s more than we’ve gotten anywhere else…seems to be paying off, at any rate. I’ll fill you in when you get here.” Someone ought’a fill you in, you little cock-tease…
The car swerved out of control and Keith slammed on the break. A symphony of horns followed the unexpected maneuver. His car sat idle, halfway over the shoulder–– “Detective Merrimac? Keith, are you alright…?” Keith breathed deeply; in; then out. Who the Hell said that? “Sir, is everything––?”
“I’m fine, Sergeant.” He grabbed the phone and pulled himself swiftly together. “Just a bump in the road. Everything’s…just fine. See you in a few,” and hung up.





There is another part to this chapter but it's so frickin' big, I decided to split it in two for the purposes of this forum. Stay tuned for part two! Plus, got another Simpsons Round-up coming soon! Haza!

D.A.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!


Hey y'all!

I'm almost a week late with my Simpsons Round-up, but that's cuz I'm a lazy bastard, plus I've been working like mad to send out a submission package for my horror-epic, An Axis Oblique. Maybe I've mentioned it once or twice. The first twelve chapters can be read here on this blog! Lucky number thirteen is scheduled to be posted soon.

Kay, on with the show!

I won't lie, last week's was near and dear to my heart. Here's the officical synopsis:

"Boy Meets Curl"
02/14/10
"Homer takes Marge out for a romantic evening of ice skating and hand-holding, but upon entering the rink, they encounter a curling team practicing. Marge and Homer take to the ice and discover their love for the sport, and soon after, join the curling team and compete with them in the Olympic trials. Team Springfield claims the win and moves on to the 2010 Vancouver Games, where Bob Costas, (guest voicing as himself), covers the action. Meanwhile, sleazy vendors inroduce Lisa to the world of collecting Olympic pins, and before long, Lisa is hopelessly addicted."

Show Title: The Simpson family clad in old-style clothing flying over in a car similarly designed like the one from the 1968 movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Billboard Gag: None.
Chalkboard Gag: None.
Couch Gag: The scene switches to the inside of a gypsy wagon where a fortune teller passes out tarot cards with each of the five Simpsons pictured. She deals Grampa the Death card with Maggie pictured, but he quickly deals it back to her and she collapses on her chair. [edit]

Aside from The Simpsons heading North of the border for the--count'em---third time. (The first was my hometown Toronto for a movie shoot, then onto Winnipeg for some free perscription drugs, woo-hoo!), the episode itself was pretty solid. Yes, it was littered with the usual absurdities common to most episodes over the last ten-plus years, but it also had a pretty straight-forward narrative, which I strongly apreciate.

Anyway, here are my highlights:

- Homer and Marge missing date night so they catch the movie, "Love Formulaic," starring Ben Affleck.

- Agnes Skinner's priceless flashback to the Oslo Olympics in 1952, where a pre-natal Seymour ruins her life for the first time, kicking from inside her belly to cost her the gold medal for pole-vaulting. Of course, I might mention the obvious continuity contradiction, if I weren't sworn never to mention it again under penalty of torture... (cough--Armin Tamzarian--caugh!)

- Marge enjoying another classic episode of "The Real Housewives of Shelbyville," where everyone speaks with a thick New York accent for some reason.

- Bart's new Canadian friend, Millhoose and possibly a Canadian Nelson, who laughs: 'Hoo-Hoo' when he punches Millhoose in the goot!

- A surprise appearance of the mysterious 'Boob Lady' last seen guiding Homer's spiritual epiphany in The Simpsons Movie. She was from Alaska. I guess that's close enough. Must be a snowboarding fan.


All in all, a fun romp with lots of rewatchability. The b-story with Lisa was a bit underwhelming but somewhat consistent with her addictive personality. (Anyone remember the Cory Hotline?) The writers might have been commenting on the reasonably severe street-kid problem cursing the streets of Vancouver twelve months out of a non-Olympic year. At one point, Lisa, looking pretty strung-out, was on the corner playing her sax for change, (wearing nothing but lots of strategically-placed Olympic pins). Riske perhaps, if Southpark, Family Guy and the rest of them hadn't already pissed all over that line a long time ago.

Next week, I'm pretty sure we've got another new one coming. If so, you know where to find the round-up.

Later, and Go Canada!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Simpsons Roundup!

Hey now!

Time for another (quick) Simpsons Round-up.

Last week's was called "Million Dollar Maybe" and the synopsis goes as follows:

"Homer blows off Marge to buy a lottery ticket and winds up winning the million-dollar jackpot. Fearing how Marge will react if she finds out the reason Homer missed their date, Homer keeps his newly inherited fortune a secret and spoils his family with anonymous gifts. When Bart finds out, he and Homer spend the money like its going out of style, including buying front row tickets to see Coldplay in concert."


As you may have guessed, Coldplay was in the episode, at least frontman, Chris Martin, not sure about the other lads. I thought the stuff with the wedding toast was kinda corny, but used to great effect for an ending that actually made sense in connection to the beginning. Kudos. I guess we can add millionaire to the list of things Homer has been. Too bad it didn't last. Now that would have made an intereting arc. Hey, there's an idea. Why not try a multi-episode storyline, say three or four, just to shake up the monotony. At least make fun of the concept. I mean, it is the new television standard. I'm sure there's some fun tobe had at it's occasionally-conveluted expense, no? Anyway, back to the episode. To be honest, nothing but the resonably touching ending particularly stands out to me at the moment. It had some nice jokes. I enjoyed Bart manhandling Homer in the zero-grav airplane. Ditto for the groom at the wedding citing Season 2 Madmen as part of the special bond between him and his new blushing bride. Plus, I liked the subplot about Lisa introducing a video game, (a Simpsonized Nintendo Wii - I forget the joke name for it), into the retirement castle for Grandpa, Jasper, Old Jewish Man...and the rest. The nurses destroyed it when the old folks started regaining vigor and their jobs became too hard. Now there's some interesting satire. I mentioned the ending, which had Homer and MArge in a hotair ballon, performing their "Lets Call the Whole Thing Off" duet, which was sweet. It's not often one gets to hear the entire version of that particular classic. It kinda got me thinking about the final scene of the final Simpsons episode. At some point it will happen and I expect to see something fairly emotional, fairly poignant, fairly absured. Marge and Homer flying off in a ballon over Springfield might be interesting. Whatever it is, I know there'll be at least one tear in my eye.

D.A.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Canadian Voices


I know it's been a while but I've been kinda busy working on a new short story. It's called, The Red Maple Leaf, and its written from the point of view of a little boy who lost his mother in Afghanistan. I've been working on it for some time now, trying to get it ready for an anthology book called Canadian Voices, Volume Two. The book is being put out by Bookland Press, a Canadian publisher who had tremendous success a couple years back with Canadian Voices, Volume One. Both books are designed to showcase up-and-coming Canadian writers with a diverse selection of short stories, poetry and novel excerpts. I urge you to check it out.

http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Canadian-Voices-Volume-One-Anthology-Canadian-Anthology/9780978439552-item.html

Anyway, I got my story in late last night. It turned out pretty well, (I hope). Either way, it was a blast to write, a real challenge and if, for whatever reason, it doesn't quite work for this publisher, I'll be sure to shop it around someplace else. (And post it up here, of course).

Don't panic.
Regular blogging should be getting back to normal now.

Coming soon:

The long-awaited Chapter Twelve of my momumental horror-epic, An Axis Oblique, (only two more to go, people). Plus, a new exciting installment of Simpsons Roundup!, and 'What Am I reading?'

See you soon.

D.A.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Simpsons Round-up!

Well, it's been a bit over a week now and I still haven't got a damn review up for The Simpsons 450th. Well, not really a review, I suppose. More of a round-up.

The episode, entitled,"Once Upon A Time in Springfield," was reasonably solid, (for a 21 year old show). Like many of their gems, this one was Krusty-centric and featured a surprisingly-good guest stint from Anne Hathaway. Here's the official synopsis:

In the landmark 450th episode of THE SIMPSONS, Krusty is approached by two network executives who want to bring on female co-star, Princess Penelope, to increase the show's female demographic. The onstage and behind-the-scenes rapport between Krusty and Princess Penelope grows and before long, Krusty asks for his co-star's hand in marriage. Meanwhile, when Mr. Burns puts a stop to the free donusts at the plant to cut costs, Homer, Lenny and Carl decide to meet with a head-hunter who speacializes in nuclear workers and opens their eyes to opportunities free of draconion donut-cutting measures.

Couldn't have put it much better myself. Guess I'll just highlight a few noteworthy nuggets that stuck in my funny bone.

Upon seeing Princess Penelope for the first time, 'girling up' the Krusty Show, Millhouse remarks: "First girls ruin Sex in the City, now this."

Famed cartoonist extraordinaire, Glen Larson, (The Far Side), guest voices as himself, hired to work in the Cap City Nuclear Plant to whip up fresh cartoons for emplyees to stick on their wall, (and not get).

One hot and heavy Hollywood romance is referred to as, "QueenLatifaRod."
Can you guess the happy couple?

At Krusty's wedding, featuring guest voice, Jackie Mason as, (who else?), Krusty's long-suffering father, Rabbi Haiman Krustofski, Bart wonders where Mr. Teenie is, seeing as he should be Krusty's ring-bearer. Krusty explains he locked him in the Torah room till the wedding was over. We then see Mr. Teenie wreaking havoc on every chosen-person's favourite holy book. (Mmm, that's good sacralige!)

In a last-ditch effort to convince Princess Penelope not to go through with the wedding, Bart pulls out Krusty's first wife, a chain-smoking hippie, (whose name I don't remember), and former catwoman, Ertha Kitt, who is voiced by herself, (apparently). It sure sounded like an impression.
All in all, an episode worthy of syndication, where constant repetition and, perhaps, (illicit drug use), will cement it the title of classic Simpsons gold! Bravo, guys. And thanks for all the laughs.


Immediately after the episode, Fox broadcast an hour-long (psuedo) documentary in honor of The Simpsons 20th anniversary. The special, entitled, "The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special - In 3D! - On Ice!" was hosted by Morgan Spurlock, of "Supersize Me" fame and was a nice little tribute, though I personally could have used a little more meat. All that aside, it was fun to watch people like, Dan Rather, Mike Judge, Seth McFarlane, (yes, even him), Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and so many more recount their favourite Simpsons moments, or at least stuff they admire about the show.
Like I said, the special was a bit light on analysis and heavy on sentiment, not that I particularly mind that. I just think it's high time somebody with some teeth came out with a real hard look at The Simpsons and it's massive, though largely uncredited impact on, not only the landscape of contemporary TV, but also society in general.
There was some of that, I suppose, by not much. One such example might be Spurlock's visit to a real live nuclear power plant, as well as a brave expedition to uncover the show's most devoted nutjob - I mean, fan. (Hello, kettle? It's me, Pot. Um, yeah, you're black). There was also an ammusing little rant from a representative of the Catholic Church or anti-defammation league or whatever. To be honest, I don't think it was all that serious.
In short, I love The Simpons with all my heart. Always have. Always will. That said, I can't help but think the best thing for it now would be to rest. I still laugh. (At this point, its ingrained in my DNA - damn, I'm gonna have lucky kids), but I truly believe what the show would benefit from most is to be missed. Then, perhaps, in a couple years or so, come out with a new product. Another movie? Maybe. Personally, I'd love to see Mr. Burns as the villain - or Sideshow Bob! Maybe even a series of well-spaced DVD/Blue-Ray adventures. This way, the creative juices, and talent, are given the chance to recharge.
Just my two cents. One thing's for certain. Whether still in production or in memory only, The Simpsons legend will live forever!

Thank God for that.

D.A.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Simpsons Roundup!

Hello hello and happy new year!

Okay now that that's outta the way, time for another Simpsons Roundup! New episodes have been few and far between of late but next week ought'a make up for that in a big way with the 450th (yes, you read me right), episode extravaganza, featuring an hour-long documentary hosted by Supersize Me's, Morgan Spurlock to commemorate twenty friekin' years of the yellow first family.

Onto the ep...

Entitled, "Thursdays with Abie", the story centers around much-maligned Grampa, (Abe), Simpson and a new twist on a long-running gag. For years, Grampa has gone on and on about anything and everything in his life, real or imagined, (he once saved Christmas with Mr. Burns and Santa Claus), to an audience of largely deaf ears - and I don't just mean Jasper. In this ep, after a lackluster visit to the Wet'N' Wack World (formerly the John F. Kennedy Naval Museum), Abe parks himself on a 'shark' bench while the family head to the show featuring Slimu the octopus, (some funny bits in there too). On the bench, he meets up with a young reporter, Marshall Goldman, who not only likes Abe's stories, but wants to feature a weekly column around them. Oh my!
The story is somewhat of a parody of "Tuesday's with Morrie", a popular book about a young reporter and a dying man, by Mitch Albom, who turns in a fine guest spot in the episode. (He wanted to steal Abe away for himself, but settled on Ralph instead. Good choice.)
Anyway, as the column gains more notoriety, Homer becomes jealous, having the gall to wonder why Grampa never shared any of his stories with him, like the time he met Clarke Gable, (depicted in classic flashback fashion), and convinced him to read Gone With the Wind. With a little snooping, Homer uncovers a dastardly plot by Goldman to murder Abe in an effort to up the drama and, no doubt, the planned-book sales, (bastard). Never fear though, cuz, good son that he is...eventually...Homer comes to the rescue and together, he and his old dad stop the evil Marshall Goldman and meaningfully reconnect. (tear)
There's also a sub-plot about a stuffed lamb from Mrs. Krabappel's classroom, which Bart takes home - and Lisa accidentally destroys. It's not quite as strong, to be honest, (though experience tells me time and many repeat viewings will make it a whole lot funnier), but it's always nice to see Mrs. K and the 4th grade gang, particularly Nelson, (who sports a fairly unhealthy attachment to the lamb, poor guy), Martin and, of course, Milhouse! (Whazzup!).
Have no fear, faithful readers. All ends well, though, with Grampa letting Homer take the lead in non-sensical whimsy that night around the dinner table.
That's out grampa.

As I said earlier, next week should be a pretty snazy affair. Might have to brush off the old tux and tophat. I can't wait to bask in all the syrupy Simpsons love.

Till then,

D.A.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Simpsons Round-up

Okay, so another new Simpsons last Sunday and another attempt at Simpsons Round-up. As I've stated earlier, I'm not much of a reviewer, but my love for The Simpsons, (warts and all), is undying.

The episode was called "Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?" and it aired on 12/13/09. Here is the official synpsis:

One snowy day in Springfield, Lisa informs Bart that she and Maggie share a bond that Bart will never understand because he doesn't have a brother, so Bart asks Homer for a baby brother. When Homer denies Bart's request, Bart makes his way to Springfield Orphanage to find what he thinks is missing.


All and all, a pretty decent ep.
As always, I find eps get better with repeated viewings so even if I didn't love it, it typically tends to grow on me. Not to say I didn't enjoy plenty. Off the top of my head what stood out was the dream sequence, (a-la Homer's sleep dream many seasons ago), where Bart goes to sleep babbling no dream could convince him he needed a brother and ends up in Bro-land, (or something like that), and encounters a cavalcade of famous brothers, (featuring a slew of guest voices). Everyone from The Marx brothers, The Manning brothers, (Payton, Eli and lesser known older brother, Cooper), The Blues Brothers, Sideshow Bob and Cecil!, the Super Mario Brothers and The Smothers Brothers, who performed a joke in their signature back-and-forth bickering-style. For me, this was the best part and a great demonstration of how clever and funny The Simpons can still be.

After the dream, Bart becomes obsessed with getting a little brother. This idea, I should mention, was triggered after Lisa teases him he can never know the true bond of sisterhood shared between her and Maggie. I may want to point out, a-la Comic book guy, Bart did have a big brother in Tom, (voiced by the irreplacable Phil Hartman way back in season three), and Homer, of course had Pepsi, ugm, Pepe.

Anyway, after attempts to inspire romance between Homer and Marge, with sexy results; (the Kama Sutra DVD they watch with 'Sextras' was particularly good too), Bart eventually gives up on getting his brother the 'traditional way' and visits the orphanage, which boasts the sign, "Adopt American" out front. But they aren't much help either. Fortunately, a little orphan boy overhears his heartfelt request and decides to break out of the orphanage to be Bart's little brother.

Other highlights for me included Nelson popping Birth Control pills he thinks are 'Tack Ticks', which make him ultra-emotional, the South Park gag, (which was really more an homage than a joke, still...), and the other dream where Bart imagines a third sister, (Kim Catrall), as he carries their shopping bags as they gab about sisterhood and shopping and sex, oh my...

Guess that about does it.
Like I said, there was plenty to love in the ep and with time, it will be sure to blend seamlessly with the rest of the catalogue.

Until next Sunday...

D.A.


P.S. Let me know what you think. Comments are always welcome, (not that I'm desperate or anything)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Simpsons Roundup!

Hey there, and welcome to my first attempt - echm! - first edition of Simpsons Roundup!

What is Simpsons Roundup, you ask?

Just a semi-regular critique or, in some cases, summary of Sunday's newest entry into the pantheon of Simpsons lexicon.

I'll try to keep this a regular thing but it won't always be tops on my list of priorities. Nevertheless, if it catches fire like I know it will, it's popularity could crash the whole Internet!

Let us begin.

Last Sunday's ep continues a streak of strong outings during the month of November. I know, many of you out there think the show has gone stale and at times, I can strain to see your point. The fact is, the sense of humor is, in my humble opinion, as sharp, witty and potentially observant as ever it has been. This week's episode, entitled, "Rednecks and Broomsticks", (11/29/09), featured Lisa joining a group of wiccans. The synopsis is as follows:

"After getting lost in a game of hide-and-seek, Lisa wanders into the forest and discovers three teenage girls, including Cassandra, who are practicing Wiccans. Though she is skeptical of their spells, the girls assure Lisa that they never hurt anyone and ask her to join their coven. Just before Lisa is inducted into their pact, Chief Wiggum arrives and arrest the three girls for witchcraft and Lisa becomes the star witness in their trial. Meanwhile, Homer starts hanging out with Cletus and his hillbilly friends when he discovers that they make moonshine."

Overall, I liked it. As it's been a few days, many of the episode's finer points have already begun to escape me but I particualrly liked the Bambi joke early on in the first act where The Simpsons car spun out onto a frozen lake and slammed into Bambi and Thumper. Also, I thought the Cletus story worked well too, using the character for something other than some dopey aside or one-liner. Don't get me wrong, I love those too when they work, but Cletus has been around long enough, I think, where, by season 21, we could give him some more meat.

The way the two stories came together was also effective, as the tainted moonshine got into the town drinking water and caused an epidemic of temporary blindness, (blamed on the witches, of course). Moe too, had some great stuff, particularly, the mob jokes, where he eggs an angry crowd of gawkers into chasing him just to keep them fired up, as well as a good bit with the annoying travelling game, 'Bonk-It,' which Homer throws out the window only to have another angry father in the next car, throw his own kid's Bonk-It back into the Simpsons car.

The guest voice was Neve Campbell, which I didn't know till I read the end credits.

All in all, I found it to be a solid entry which, as most episodes do, get better with repeat viewings. Not sure yet if next week's is a new one. Either way, I'll try and keep this thing going - for a while.

D.A.

Got an opinion? Think I'm out to lunch? Or maybe right on the money? Leave a comment. Hey, it just might be the best decision of your entire life!